Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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