As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
