I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
