im about as happy as oj after his trial
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
