is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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