Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
