I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
