Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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