Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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