Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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