idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
