A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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