none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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