we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
