It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
