I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
