you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
