I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
