You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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