Kiss
Puke
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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