you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sorry about my life...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
