he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
