Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i came on her dog
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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