i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
