More tranny stories later!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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