Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
