Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have surprise drugs for everyone
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
