You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
