I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
