hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
