So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
