That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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