i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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