I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
