I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
