i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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