There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
