Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
