Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize