so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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