our cab driver is having phone sex.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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