At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
