I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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