Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Hippo gnu deer
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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