another moral hangover. fuck.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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