I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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