I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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