I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
