She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
