Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
