My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
