Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
