you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize