At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
