VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
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yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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