something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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