508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
