I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
