I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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