you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Are we still banned from the library?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
