get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
