I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
