ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Randomize
