try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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