I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
