Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
