Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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