Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
