I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
