had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My bed smells like the plague
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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