do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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