Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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