but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
