you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
